Harder To Say I'm Undefeated

This afternoon I found myself asking the question, "Why?" Why does death even exist? Why does it hurt so bad? Why must it? Why do we love and risk such incredible pain? Why does God allow us to go through so much? Why?

If you know me, you know I hate death. I hate everything about it, and I hate the pain and brokenness it inflicts on those I love. I know that for those in Christ, death is just a doorway to paradise, and there is immense hope in that, but hope doesn't take away pain, and it is painful.

Right about the time I was thinking about all this and asking God "why" this song came on: Refuge by Skillet. 

I'll just let you read the lyrics, or watch the video.

https://youtu.be/UAgc24Ae4HM

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When I open my eyes, I can't believe it

How the world can look so different than we were dreamin'

It's gettin' harder to say I'm undefeated

When the best my heart can hope for is breakin' even

Here and now, reachin' out

In my hurt, I don't know how

But I know I'm not alone

I can face my darkest night

'Cause I trust You with my life

I'm not afraid, for You are my refuge

When it's heavy on my chest

You're the place I catch my breath

You are the only one I hold onto

Oh, 'cause You are my refuge

I know how this ends, I'm gonna make it

Your Word is in my heart, none could ever take it

Here and now, in this hour

Come and fill me with Your power

Let me know I'm not alone

I can face my darkest night

'Cause I trust You with my life

I'm not afraid, for You are my refuge

When it's heavy on my chest

You're the place I catch my breath

You are the only one I hold onto

Every day and darkest night (night)

I trust You at all times (trust You at all times)

I'm not afraid, for You are my refuge

And when I've got nothin' left (got nothin' left)

You're the place I find my rest (place I find my rest)

You are the only one that I run to

Yes, You are my refuge

You're my rest, You're my rock, You're my fortress

You're my strength, You're my shield and You're my defense

Nothing could ever take me from You

Nothing's ever gonna take me from You

I can face my darkest night

'Cause I trust You with my life

I'm not afraid, for You are my refuge

When it's heavy on my chest

You're the place I catch my breath

You are the only one I hold onto

Every day and darkest night (darkest night)

I trust You at all times (trust You at all times)

I'm not afraid, for You are my refuge

And when I've got nothin' left (got nothin' left)

You're the place I find my rest (place I find my rest)

You are the only one that I run to

Yes, You are my refuge