Be A Man: Part II

*Disclaimer follows.

Ok, so last week I talked about the fact that, like it or not, there are inherent gender roles that men and women are designed to fulfill, and in today's society those gender roles are being abolished in the name of "gender equality," which is resulting in a lot of problems. So today I am going to elaborate a little more on why I see this as a problem, and what I see happening as a result of the loss of gender roles in our society.

Once again, I'm going to be talking a lot about men. So, let's begin.

Men are designed to be fighters, protectors and defenders of our families and convictions. We are meant to fight for those we love, but this is being stripped, and rather than warriors, men are becoming watchers. We are becoming complacent and lazy, but that inherent need/desire to fight for something is still there. So what happens? Here are a few things that I see.

• Because men are no longer fighting or expected to fight for the ones they love, for the heart of the one they love, I believe is one of the reasons that we have so many marriages that are failing, so many men abandoning their families, children, and wives, so many men having affairs, etc... Here's why. When we fight for something and prevail, when we "win" something, we are proud of it. We parade it around and display it for all to see. It is precious to us because we put our blood, sweat, and tears into obtaining it, and we not only want to show the world the precious thing that we have, but we will continue to fight to protect it to keep it pristine. Sadly, for many men in today's society, we no longer fight for the woman we love, for our children. Now, it may seem sexist to say that women are prizes to be won, but think about it, what woman doesn't want to be treasured and prized? If you had the choice of being an invaluable, priceless, timeless, treasured prize to your husband or a ring from a cracker jack box, which would you prefer to be? What is sad, is that, for too many men today, their wives are not treasured prizes, they are are simply a passing fad, getting married was something to do, and even though they may have loved them in the moment, they did not and do not fight for them, so they are easy to leave in pursuit of something or someone else, that maybe they do have to fight for, or maybe is just another passing fad. So many women go after the "bad boy," the rebel, and I don't believe it is because they are "bad" or rebellious, but because they fight for what they believe, even if they are misguided in their belief, and they fight for the one they love. So the first problem I see is that, as men lose their gender roles they abandon their families because they go from something they treasure to something they simply have.
• As men lose this fight for their convictions and those they love, they don't lose the inherent role of a fighter and protector, so we see men acting on this role in violent, rather, than noble ways. This takes many forms. It can manifest in random acts of violence that we hear about on the news every day, but it can also manifest itself in abusive relationships in which men, instead of embracing the honorable, God given role of leader in their homes, stoop to abuse and control, whether physical, verbal, or emotional. Instead of leading in a Godly manner, they violently and abusively control the situation so that they can feel in charge.
• As more and more women move into the roles meant for men, often out of necessity because the men have abandoned these roles, this leaves a gap in the role of nurture and loving caretaker for our children. We can see this in far too many families. We see children who are lacking the necessary love and support that comes from their mothers and fathers. I think that we underestimate how important the role of nurturer is in society. We place so much importance on the more "glamorous" professional/political roles that we forget that "we all wanna be loved" and love is vitally important to development. Sadly, many of our kids are not receiving the love and care that they need because the ones designed to primarily fulfill this role are busy elsewhere.  

These are just a few of the problems that I see arising from the loss of gender roles in our society, and truly, I think that this loss is a root cause behind many more problems.

So men: stand up and Be A Man. Fight for the ones you love, fight for your convictions, fight for the poor, widows, and orphans, fight for God. Lead your families, don't make your wives fulfill your role because you have abandoned it.

*A lot of these statements are overarching generalizations. I realize that. I am in no way saying that all men are violent and abandon their families, that no woman should ever have a professional job, that no man can provide love to his children or cook a meal and do the laundry. We are all made in God's image, and as such we all, male and female, have amazing capabilities and capacity for love, devotion, fight. We see examples in the Bible of women who are strong, courageous, leaders who follow God and save many, and we see that not all men are burly fighters, there are poets, musicians, chefs, gentle fathers. However, there are roles that males and females are better fitted and designed for, and this is my point. We need to not focus so much on what is "politically correct" and focus more on fulfilling the roles that God established. He does, afterall, know best what works! 

Gun Safety

Over the weekend I attended a gun safety class as part of my church's X-Men men's ministry. I have never really held a gun before or had any desire to shoot, aside from paintball and pellet guns, but in light of my last post I figured I should at least know how to handle a gun if I ever need to use one for any reason, whether that be to protect myself/my family or to go hunting or something like that.

Anyways, next month the X-Men meeting will be held at the shooting range, and therefore, attending the gun safety meeting this month was required for attendance next month. I learned quite a bit about guns that I did not know, and honestly, I feel even more nervous than I did before, but I'm still planning on trying my hand at this whole shooting thing.

So here are the 12 Golden Rules for Safe Gun Handling that we were provided:

1. Always treat the gun as loaded.
2. Always keep the gun pointed in a safe direction.
3. Always keep your finger straight and off the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
4. Always keep the gun unloaded until you are ready to use it.
5. Never point the gun at anything you don't intend to destroy.
6. Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.
7. Learn the mechanical and handling characteristics of the gun you are using.
8. Always use proper Ammunition.
9. Be sure the barrel is clear of obstructions before loading and shooting.
10. If your gun fails to fire when the trigger is pulled, hold your shooting position for several seconds; then with the muzzle pointed in a safe direction, carefully unload the gun.
11. Don't rely on the gun's safety to keep it from firing.
12. Be aware of your surroundings when handling guns so you don't trip or lose your balance and accidentally point and/or fire the gun at anyone or anything.

Let's hope next month goes well and I don't shoot anyone...

Be A Man: Part I

*Disclaimer* -- This post may offend some people, and may be misconstrued by some to be sexist. It is not, but you have been fairly warned. Also, this is a really long blog. I may break it up into a couple sections when I get done, but be warned, it is long.

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Over the last couple of days I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a man/woman, in general, and also how it relates to God. Now, in today's society it is not politically correct to talk about gender roles in almost anyway. Everyone is equal, and, so called, "gender roles" are sexist definitions arbitrarily created and imposed by a male driven culture that seeks to keep women subjugated. We make a huge effort to ensure an equal playing field across all realms for both men and women, and in so doing we are eliminating the old gender roles, or at least attempting to. This, I believe, is one of root causes of many of our society's problems.

Let me explain.

If I were to ask you to define gender roles most of you would come up with similar things. Men are the ones who go out and fight, protect and provide, govern, lead, do hard labor, things of that nature. Women are the ones who nurture, care, love, are homemakers, cook meals, sew, things of that nature. However, there is a huge move to eliminate these roles, and it is done under the banner of equality. For one reason or another, there is the viewpoint that women are not equal to men, that they are somewhat lesser than men if they fall into these roles. I am not at all trying to make the argument that men and women do not have equal value, but equal value does not mean that we are the same, and it is a serious problem when we try to make us the same.

Men are supposed to be fighters. Now that does not mean we go out and beat the heck out of people just for fun. It means we are meant to be courageous warriors who fight for our convictions, our families, those we love. We are supposed to be leaders. We are meant to take the initiative and lead in truth and in love. Tied to that, we are meant to govern, whether that be within our families or on a national scale, we are supposed to seek God's will and guidance, and relay that rule, just as Moses did. We are supposed to be providers. We are tasked to ensure that our families, and those in need have food, have shelter, have clothing, have money, if needed. 

However, for many men today, we are no longer fulfilling these roles. We are complacent and lazy. We do not provide for or protect, we do not fight for those we love, and we do not govern. It is not our "role" anymore, but that does not mean we still aren't meant to, it simply means that we have given up our responsibility, and I see more and more women taking on the role that men are meant to fill. Women are the ones leading their families and providing for their families while men ignore their role because it is already being filled.

Now it may seem that I am way off base, because, after all, if men have these roles, then women do too, and it is really not PC to say that only men should be fighting leading, etc... and women should be nurturing, homemaking, etc... Many will say that these roles really do not exist, that they are only created by oppressive systems, but I disagree. If you look at societies, cultures, throughout history, these roles are in existence. While people may not always agree with them, they have been in existence since the beginning of civilization. Also, you will be hard pressed to argue that there is not a fundamental difference between men and women. You can see it in small children. Look at almost any young boy and you will see a rambunctious little kid that gets into everything, scrapes up his knees, tears things apart, and runs around wild. Look at almost any little girl and you will see a kid who enjoys playing with tea sets and dolls, loves princesses and dress up. Now of course this is not a hard and fast line across the board, but generally, girls enjoy dolls, dress up, tea parties, etc... because they are designed to be nurtures. They cloth and provide food for their dolls, parents, friends, etc... and they take care of their "babies." Boys run around, get into things, take control, and somehow manage to create a gun out of everything they get their hands on, even if they have never seen a gun before, because they are designed to be fighters and leaders. You see little boys playing by building forts because they are designed to protect.

Interestingly, I was thinking about this on Tuesday, and I didn't say a word to Manda that day. Wednesday, during lunch, we were talking about why it is that guys can typically lose weight so much faster than girls and Manda said, "It's because guys have a higher metabolism because you are supposed to be out hunting and fighting and gathering food." Out of a completely different conversation, the same concept came up. We have gender roles and we are not meeting them.

Now I am talking a lot about men, because I am one, and so that's what I'm thinking about, but men aren't the only ones not fulfilling their designed roles. In many cases, women are taking on the role of men, which leaves their roles unfulfilled as well, which again, causes tons of problems.

This is a bit of a strange place to stop this blog, but I think I am going to stop it here nonetheless, at least for now, but it is not done and more will be coming. I didn't get into how the elimination of gender roles is causing problems in society, so I will get into that in Part deux, along with more talk about fighting, love, and prizes. So as a final thought, here are the lyrics to the song Courageous, which is what got me to start thinking about this stuff in the first place. And just for fun, some of the lyrics to "Be a Man" from Mulan.

We were made to be courageous

We were made to lead the way

We could be the generation

That finally breaks the chains

We were made to be courageous

We were made to be courageous

We were warriors on the front lines

Standing, unafraid

But now we're watchers on the sidelines

While our families slip away

Where are you, men of courage?

You were made for so much more

Let the pounding of our hearts cry

We will serve the Lord

We were made to be courageous

And we're taking back the fight

We were made to be courageous

And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand

Is on our knees with lifted hands

Make us courageous

Lord, make us courageous

This is our resolution

Our answer to the call

We will love our wives and children

We refuse to let them fall

We will reignite the passion

That we buried deep inside

May the watchers become warriors

Let the men of God arise

We were made to be courageous

And we're taking back the fight

We were made to be courageous

And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand

Is on our knees with lifted hands

Make us courageous

Lord, make us courageous

Seek justice

Love mercy

Walk humbly with your God

In the war of the mind

I will make my stand

In the battle of the heart

And the battle of the hand

In the war of the mind

I will make my stand

In the battle of the heart

And the battle of the hand

We were made to be courageous

And we're taking back the fight

We were made to be courageous

And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand

Is on our knees with lifted hands

Make us courageous

Lord, make us courageous

We were made to be courageous

Lord, make us courageous

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Tranquil as a forest

But on fire within

Once you find your center

you are sure to win

(Be a man)

We must be swift as

the coursing river

(Be a man)

With all the force

of a great typhoon

(Be a man)

With all the strength

of a raging fire

Mysterious as the

dark side of the moon