Ok, so first of all, the title of this post is a bit strange and only loosely has to do with what I'm writing about. Just thought I'd get t out there.
Now, all I really want to say is this:
I have so many thoughts swimming through my mind right now it's crazy! Thoughts of joy, excitement, love, frustration, confusion, fear, sadness...basically I have a rainbow of thoughts running through my mind, and they are on everything from church to youth group to work to family to God...it's hard to contain it all and fall asleep...however, I will be talking about some of these ideas very soon so stay tuned.
That is all for tonight...
Goodnight!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Why must I work?
So this week was my first full week back at work since Mallory was born, and it was by no means something I was happy about. I slowly went from spending all day every day with my wife and new daughter, to being gone half the day for two weeks, to having to be gone all day long and only see Manda and Mallory for 20 minutes for lunch. :( I really wish that I could have a job that allowed me to work from home, but more about that later. For this blog I simply want to relay an incredibly sweet yet heart wrenching story from earlier this week.
Monday was my first day working full time, and when I got home at 5:30 Manda and I had dinner and I was busy getting everything ready for X-session. At 6:30 it was time for youth, which lasted till around 8. Afterwards, Mallory was quite upset. Manda tried comforting her, feeding her, changing her, the whole 9 yards, but nothing worked. She was holding her when she noticed her little head following me around the room, so she handed her to me. Almost immediately she stopped crying, looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and gave me a huge grin. :-)
You see, my daughter missed me. I had left all day and Mallory missed me after just one day. All she wanted was for her daddy, who had left, to hold her.
I'm sure you can see why this story is sweet. I mean what story that involves grinning, blue eyed baby girls isn't? However, for me it was also quite sad, because I really don't want to have to leave all day and have my daughter miss me. :-/
Bittersweet...
Monday was my first day working full time, and when I got home at 5:30 Manda and I had dinner and I was busy getting everything ready for X-session. At 6:30 it was time for youth, which lasted till around 8. Afterwards, Mallory was quite upset. Manda tried comforting her, feeding her, changing her, the whole 9 yards, but nothing worked. She was holding her when she noticed her little head following me around the room, so she handed her to me. Almost immediately she stopped crying, looked up at me with her big blue eyes, and gave me a huge grin. :-)
You see, my daughter missed me. I had left all day and Mallory missed me after just one day. All she wanted was for her daddy, who had left, to hold her.
I'm sure you can see why this story is sweet. I mean what story that involves grinning, blue eyed baby girls isn't? However, for me it was also quite sad, because I really don't want to have to leave all day and have my daughter miss me. :-/
Bittersweet...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Death
I haven't written a blog in a while so I decided to jump back in with a light happy blog about death! That was sarcastic in case you couldn't tell. Death is not a light or happy topic, but, at least for me, it is a very intriguing one. A lot of people try to avoid death completely and others seem to embrace it unnaturally, but regardless peoples' reactions to death, the reason behind them is almost always because we are uncomfortable with it.
I've been thinking about death recently due to the tragic death of Nodar Kumaritashvili on his luge training run last Friday. Death seems like it should be the most natural of all life's events, afterall, every single person experiences it at some point, yet, death is strangely unnatural to many people. There is something that just seems wrong or off with death. It does not seem like it should happen, yet there is no way to prevent it. Occasionally death seems a little more normal when someone has lived a long, full, happy life, and they die quickly and peacfully, however, even in those cases, death is surrounded with grief and tragedy, and those left are left with a sense of loss, as if something went awry somehow and a hole is now left. And that is death in its best circumstances. More often than not, death does not come peacefully to those who have lived full lives. It comes suddenly, painfully, shockingly, and to anyone from babies, to children, to young adults, to middle aged people, to the elderly. When death comes unexpectedly and suddenly it leaves more than just grief. It rips the fabric of people's lives apart, bringing grief, tragedy, depression, loss, and hopelessness that leaves a dark void, which can often bring about more death. How can this be natural?
I have seen and experienced death in many different ways, and let me tell you what should NOT happen.
A wife and mother should not have to receive a call telling her that her husband was killed in a car wreck on the way to work. That he will not be coming home, that he he will not see his daughter and son grow up.
Parents should not have to watch their son die of disease and then a few years later receive a call that their daughter was killed in a car wreck.
A son should not have to watch his mother slowly die of cancer, slowly forgetting everything, and becoming unable to even speak, as he cares for her in his home.
Parents should not have to experience the extreme joy of bringing a child into the world, be told everything is great with their baby, and then experience their child's death the next day.
Parents, friends, and girlfriend should not have to receive a call that their son, friend, and boyfriend was riding his motorcycle home and crashed and died.
A mother should not have to watch as her son slowly dies of disease.
These are just a few of the experiences with death that I have personally seen. There are many many more, and every one is tragic. I am left wondering, why, if death is so natural does it seem so wrong. Even many animals recognize a certain problem with death, and we can see elephants mourning when one of them dies. There are many thoughts and ideas and branches that can be taken to look at this topic of death, but I am not going to explore them all here. Death saddens me to no end, especially when it is sudden, and I find myself truly grieving when I hear of people dying, even if I have never heard their name, and when I think about it, I come to the conclussion that death seems so unnatural because it is. We are not meant to die. We were never intended to be mortal, and a part of us, still, is immortal, so when we see death we are disturbed, because it goes against what we were meant to be.
I am going to stop there and not go into anything else as far as why we now die, or what is immortal. I am sure you can guess my thoughts on that, but I am interested to hear what you think. It's a tough topic, and I just sort of threw out some loose ideas here, what are your ideas on either mine, or on death in general? One last question: This blog is entitled SADness and Truth, so death is definitely the sadness, can there be truth and joy discovered within the sadness? I believe that yes there is, but I want to know what you think.
I've been thinking about death recently due to the tragic death of Nodar Kumaritashvili on his luge training run last Friday. Death seems like it should be the most natural of all life's events, afterall, every single person experiences it at some point, yet, death is strangely unnatural to many people. There is something that just seems wrong or off with death. It does not seem like it should happen, yet there is no way to prevent it. Occasionally death seems a little more normal when someone has lived a long, full, happy life, and they die quickly and peacfully, however, even in those cases, death is surrounded with grief and tragedy, and those left are left with a sense of loss, as if something went awry somehow and a hole is now left. And that is death in its best circumstances. More often than not, death does not come peacefully to those who have lived full lives. It comes suddenly, painfully, shockingly, and to anyone from babies, to children, to young adults, to middle aged people, to the elderly. When death comes unexpectedly and suddenly it leaves more than just grief. It rips the fabric of people's lives apart, bringing grief, tragedy, depression, loss, and hopelessness that leaves a dark void, which can often bring about more death. How can this be natural?
I have seen and experienced death in many different ways, and let me tell you what should NOT happen.
A wife and mother should not have to receive a call telling her that her husband was killed in a car wreck on the way to work. That he will not be coming home, that he he will not see his daughter and son grow up.
Parents should not have to watch their son die of disease and then a few years later receive a call that their daughter was killed in a car wreck.
A son should not have to watch his mother slowly die of cancer, slowly forgetting everything, and becoming unable to even speak, as he cares for her in his home.
Parents should not have to experience the extreme joy of bringing a child into the world, be told everything is great with their baby, and then experience their child's death the next day.
Parents, friends, and girlfriend should not have to receive a call that their son, friend, and boyfriend was riding his motorcycle home and crashed and died.
A mother should not have to watch as her son slowly dies of disease.
These are just a few of the experiences with death that I have personally seen. There are many many more, and every one is tragic. I am left wondering, why, if death is so natural does it seem so wrong. Even many animals recognize a certain problem with death, and we can see elephants mourning when one of them dies. There are many thoughts and ideas and branches that can be taken to look at this topic of death, but I am not going to explore them all here. Death saddens me to no end, especially when it is sudden, and I find myself truly grieving when I hear of people dying, even if I have never heard their name, and when I think about it, I come to the conclussion that death seems so unnatural because it is. We are not meant to die. We were never intended to be mortal, and a part of us, still, is immortal, so when we see death we are disturbed, because it goes against what we were meant to be.
I am going to stop there and not go into anything else as far as why we now die, or what is immortal. I am sure you can guess my thoughts on that, but I am interested to hear what you think. It's a tough topic, and I just sort of threw out some loose ideas here, what are your ideas on either mine, or on death in general? One last question: This blog is entitled SADness and Truth, so death is definitely the sadness, can there be truth and joy discovered within the sadness? I believe that yes there is, but I want to know what you think.
Friday, January 29, 2010
"What's the point of all of this..."
A question that I have asked in the past, and which many people around me have and are asking in some form is this: "Why go to church?" "What's the point?" and similarly, "What should church be, and what should churches do?" I have been on both sides of this question at different points in my life. I have been hurt by churches and wondered what the point of church is, does it really do any good? I have also been, and currently am, on staff at a church, and I have had a great opportunity to see the benefit that church can bring.
People have all sorts of reasons why they go or don't go to a church. Some people absolutely hate churches and anything that has to do with them. I have seen people become so hurt by and upset with churches that they swear to never go back. I have also seen people who don't go to church because they don't have the time or energy, it's simply another chore for them, and obviously, there are those that don't go because they don't hold religious beliefs.
I have also seen people that go to church because it is a responsibility, something they are expected to do, or something that they grew up with and has become a habit. There are also those that are forced or coerced in some way to go to church and really don't want to be there. And, of course, there are those that go to church because they love it and want to be there to fellowship and worship.
All of this makes me wonder, what should churches be doing, what should their goal and purpose be? Should churches cater to those people who want to be there and ignore those that don't or should they reach out to try and draw in those that don't want to be there and take for granted that those that do will come regardless? Or should there be something between these two?
I have come to realize that church is a very important and essential part of my life, and as I am on staff at my church I want to try and ensure that we are doing everything that we should to ensure that we are reaching people where and how they need to be reached and not hurting or pushing people away, and I do not think that we should ever be content with or "stuck" in how we are doing things, but constantly be striving to make a difference. I also believe that church should not be a place that people merely go to. That's completely useless. It should be a place that people grow in and are changed by. In the movie "To Save A Life" there is a quote:
So my question is this: What are you looking for in a church? What would make you want to go to church in the first place? What would make you want to stay at a church? What would change you if you experienced it?
God Bless!
People have all sorts of reasons why they go or don't go to a church. Some people absolutely hate churches and anything that has to do with them. I have seen people become so hurt by and upset with churches that they swear to never go back. I have also seen people who don't go to church because they don't have the time or energy, it's simply another chore for them, and obviously, there are those that don't go because they don't hold religious beliefs.
I have also seen people that go to church because it is a responsibility, something they are expected to do, or something that they grew up with and has become a habit. There are also those that are forced or coerced in some way to go to church and really don't want to be there. And, of course, there are those that go to church because they love it and want to be there to fellowship and worship.
All of this makes me wonder, what should churches be doing, what should their goal and purpose be? Should churches cater to those people who want to be there and ignore those that don't or should they reach out to try and draw in those that don't want to be there and take for granted that those that do will come regardless? Or should there be something between these two?
I have come to realize that church is a very important and essential part of my life, and as I am on staff at my church I want to try and ensure that we are doing everything that we should to ensure that we are reaching people where and how they need to be reached and not hurting or pushing people away, and I do not think that we should ever be content with or "stuck" in how we are doing things, but constantly be striving to make a difference. I also believe that church should not be a place that people merely go to. That's completely useless. It should be a place that people grow in and are changed by. In the movie "To Save A Life" there is a quote:
"What's the point of all of this if you're not gonna let this change you?"
So my question is this: What are you looking for in a church? What would make you want to go to church in the first place? What would make you want to stay at a church? What would change you if you experienced it?
God Bless!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
DISCLAIMER
I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have many flaws and faults, and I always will. I post a lot of stuff on here that could be classified as "sermons" or Bible Studies. They are truths that I have learned and am learning, but they are not my truths. They are God's truths, and they are relevant to anyone and everyone reading them, including me. Please never assume that I write with any intention other than sharing the amazing truths of God, many of which I am still learning and grasping myself. Do not judge the truth or power of the truth based on my imperfections. This blog is called SADness & Truth, and these are contrasting elements. The Truth reveals how sad the SADness is and the SADness reveals how incredibly amazing the Truth is!
God Bless!
God Bless!
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